Have you really sat back and thought about that? And then there is the opposite side of the coin, loss. I would like to share the below from a posting by Give Us This Day.
“Woman, behold, your son.” “Behold your mother” (see John 19:26-27). Jesus’ last words included a dramatic family re-creation from the cross. After his death, his mother and the disciple he loved would care for each other as parent and child. But this transformation was not the first time Jesus turned family upside down.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus offers similarly startling words, “Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother,” no longer only his family of origin (Mark 3:35). We could read this as a rejection of society’s traditional kinship structures or an expansive embrace of God’s love. Might his mother and siblings not have been wounded, but deeply proud to see their beloved pour out such love? Could his widening of God’s family circle have been a profound affirmation of the human family in which he was raised?
Picture parents sending a child to school, spouses parting before deployment, siblings welcoming a new baby, or in-laws taking an aging parent into their home. Often, we are asked to bid welcome or goodbye to the love we once knew, in order to accept a new love God wants us to learn.
There is hidden grief in every good thing. Even family celebrations—a wedding, birth, or graduation—hold within them a sliver of loss. What once was will not be again. But this is the sacrifice of love: to widen our embrace of those whom God asks us to serve. Yet we are not alone. Look around and see how many are seated in the circle at Christ’s feet. God always gives us the ones we need. - Laura Kelly Fanucci
Reading this brought to mind the loss of my mother. For most of my adult life we lived hundreds of miles apart and regrettably I made little time to see her. She was my best friend, my confidant, a source of wisdom and strength. She was also demanding, difficult and stubborn. But most of all she was a source of unquestioning love. She was all that I think a mother should be. We spoke on the phone nearly daily. Sometimes I called with what at the time seemed like life altering decisions in hope of finding guidance. Other times I call simply to hear her voice. Most often we simply talked about the trivialities of the day. Nothing earth shattering or particularly significant. Looking back, it was not what was discuss but simply being present for one another that was important and meaningful. We did not always enjoy the best or easiest relationship. But we always found one another in the bonds of family, love and faith.
I grew up in a rather large Catholic family. I have five sisters. Raised in a rural farming community in Ohio in the 60’s and 70’s. One can imagine the stories that entails. I like to think that mine was a typical childhood for the time. Wake early, a quick breakfast of toast or cereal, ride the bus to school. Ride the bus home in the afternoon, farm chores. Gather around the dinner table for supper. Watch some TV and do homework. Go to bed. Repeat. Dinner time was FAMILY time as I recall. Often, we would sit around the table and talk. Conversation varied but I think this is where we kids learned right from wrong, values and faith.
As we kids grew, graduated from school, and pursued life as young adults, our sibling bonds waned, at least that was my perception. We found less time for one another and grew apart. Life and the pursuit of career pulled us to locations around the globe, further straining familial bonds. Years would pass without seeing each other or possibly speaking. Upon the death of my father, I can clearly recall thinking, that once my mother passes there will be nothing holding us together as a family. That there would be little likelihood that we would see each other again.
But God, indeed, Gives Us the Ones We Need. It was when my mother passed that things began to change. A greater closeness has developed between us. Still, we may not see one another as frequently as would be nice. However, when we do come together or speak on the phone, exchange email or text messages the interaction is of such value and with mature respect and love. With the passing of both our parents, things will never be the same. They are both missed and mourned. I think of them often. Sometimes it brings a tear to my eyes, but more frequently a smile to my face or a chuckle.
I thank God for allowing me to see the good things that come from the grief, a renewed and stronger relationship with my sisters. The ones I need.
