I have often thought, I go to church, I routinely pray, I read scripture, I say the rosary, so why do I not feel “religious”? Why do I not feel as if I am making progress on the road to spirituality and sanctification? I feel that I have zeal for God but yet an emptiness persists, a longing remains. Why? What is it that I am searching for and why do I feel as though it is out of reach?
As you know, I have been working through my Novitiate to become a Benedictine Oblate. As part of this process and an ongoing requirement, is daily reading from The Rule of Benedict. I first began reading The Rule about two years ago. The Rule is broken down such that one reads the entirety 3 times a year. At first, I questioned why must I read this over and over again. Surely if I have read it once I have taken from it what I am to learn. What I have found is that with each reading new meaning and relevance is revealed. I find new insights as to what Benedictine spirituality is and how I should live it. Today’s reading discusses The Good Zeal of Monastics. I would like to share part of this section with you.
Just as there is a wicked zeal of bitterness which separates from God and leads to hell, so there is a good zeal which separates from evil and leads to God and everlasting life. This, then, is the good zeal which members must foster with fervent love: “They should each try to be the first to show respect to the other”, supporting with the greatest patience one another’s weaknesses of body or behavior.
The version of The Rule of Benedict which I read from incorporates comments and insights from Sr. Joan Chittister, OSB. Below are her insights which I found enlightening.
Here is the crux of the Rule of Benedict. Benedictine spirituality is not about religiosity. Benedictine spirituality is much more demanding than that. Benedictine spirituality is about caring for the people you live with and loving the people you don’t and loving God more than yourself. Benedictine spirituality depends on listening for the voice of God everywhere in life, especially in one another and here.
An ancient tale from another tradition tells that a disciple asked the Holy One,
“Where shall I look for Enlightenment?” “Here,” the Holy One said.
“When will it happen?” “It is happening right now,” the Holy One said.
“Then why don’t I experience it?” “Because you do not look,” the Holy One said.
“What should I look for?” “Nothing,” the Holy One said. “Just look.”
“At what?” “Anything your eyes alight upon,” the Holy One said.
“Must I look in a special kind of way?” “No,” the Holy One said. “The ordinary way will do.”
“But don’t I always look the ordinary way?” “No,” the Holy One said. “You don’t.”
“Why ever not?” the disciple demanded. “Because to look you must be here,” the Holy One said. “You’re mostly somewhere else.”
We must learn to listen to what God is saying in our simple, sometimes insane, and always uncertain daily lives. Bitter zeal is that kind of religious fanaticism that makes a god out of religious devotion itself. Bitter zeal walks over the poor on the way to the altar. Bitter zeal renders the useless invisible and makes devotion more sacred than community. Bitter zeal wraps us up in ourselves and makes us feel holy about it. Bitter zeal renders us blind to others, deaf to those around us, struck dumb in the face of the demands of dailiness. Good zeal, monastic zeal, commits us to the happiness of human community and immerses us in Christ and surrenders us to God, minute by minute, person by person, day after day after day.
What do I take away from this? That in my efforts to live a “holy and religious” life, I have overlooked the truth.
- Matthew 25:40
‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’
What I am missing is that I “we” are called to follow the example of Jesus’ life and to keep his commandment. “Love your neighbor”
Send Comments: boniface@oblate.info